I was going to write up some drivel about whatever, but decided to instead turn these posts into a chronicle of my journey towards self pubbing my first book. The previous post sort of gave a half baked overview of what's going on in my life right now regarding this project.
I've been involved in self publishing for about a year, My partner (we have got to come up with a better one than that for unmarried people living together, don't we?) KD McLean and I have been working together on her books for the last year. But this book is mine. I have first chair, and KD is backing me up for a change.
I outlined why I'm doing this in my previous post, in terms of timing. The BIG why, of course is to make Konrath or Rusch or Howie or Hocking or Day kind of money doing something I love. The why of right now, on this project is another thing that's described.
Okay, so what have I done so far?
First, the first draft is complete, and I'm in the process (about 1/3 through give or take) on my second draft.It's going along OK.
Today, however, was the day where every and all insecurity about my skill, talent, or right to expect people to both pay money and enjoy my work kicked in big time.
Yeah, I'm aware of the fact that most (all?) serious writers go through this right? I feel it every day, but only in small doses. Small, managable doses. But I guess, the last 24 hours has seen a confluence of things that sort of triggered a panic.
We've dropped a bunch of money, and are going to be dropping more, in professional help with the book. The cover is finalized pretty much. Well, maybe one more tweak. We've engaged an online book tour promo company as well; and that was a chunk of change. Now I gotta find an editor; and a decent one is going to be another chunk. All together, about a thousand bucks or so was put in the kitty yesterday. We're not rich by any means- a lot of cutting back on stuff had to happen.
So naturally, today I was beset by second guesses. Massive, comprehensive second guesses. Stuff I literally laughed out loud about as I was writing became not so funny. The zillions of sales I thought The Sock Puppet would do became 20 one star reviews from ARC's I'm going to be sending out.
This was a tough day.
A couple of things got me through it.
One thing I did was send three friends online the first two chapters, cover and blurb. The cover's ready, and the two chapters sent were re-written. The blurb needs a lot of work, but I had a half assed one. My question to them was 'If you were looking for a rom-com, and read this as a sample, would you hit the buy button for four bucks?'. Okay, small sample. But still...
And I hit three for three yesses. One wants a copy as soon as I'm done.
The other thing is my knowledge it took King YEARS to get published back in the '70's. And one of the most successful online authors dealt with FIVE HUNDRED rejections back in the 90's when he started out.
So if my teeth get kicked in in the marketplace... well, I won't be the first guy.
I got only a single chapter re-written today. I had a hard time concentrating, and the creativity (as in funny creativity) was not showing up.I did have ass in chair for 8 hours; but... wow. The longest time spent for 1300 words.
But I stuck with it. I didn't hide under my bed fetal.
I wanted to.
The cover looks fantastic.
Erin Lark did a hell of a job.
And that's that for now.
Anyone else who reads this ever get the heebie jeebies regarding your writing? Or goals? Or anything? Let me know in the comments. I could use the company!